e diel, 20 korrik 2008

A question

Can there be a place or a time where life would not be angry with me and give me few ( an hour or two perhaps ) moments of eternal bliss/happiness ?

I live in search for that blissful moment.

Changed Man

Post marriage, i have changed. Or to be more specific , i must have appeared for sure , a changed person for my friends and family.
I also come to realize an average guy do not know prior to marriage when they say , i will not change. That is one of the situation where an average guy shoots their big mouth, sounding overly confident without even giving a second thought.

Anyway right now , i am in search of enlightenment. Did i change for good for my inner self ?
I guess , i am in one of those selfish introspection right now where i do question my own sustenance ability of how much i can take the crap that life throws ? I am waiting for answers and life has not provided it yet, instead it is throwing much more complex jigsaw puzzle to solve day by day.

Finally at the height of the introspection is the ever elusive riddle : In the end would it be worth ?

e shtunë, 10 nëntor 2007

Anatomia de "guy" factor - Chapter 6

Well well this post gonna be more of myself. Lot of things going on with my life.
And the biggest thing that is about to happen is i am going to get married. And as an average guy thinking process i want to share my feelings.
I AM SCARED AND HAPPY at the same time. how can that be ? I was waiting for my marriage with all open heart mind as i believe. In fact my pessimism of not getting a girl on my own was at such peak that i almost resigned to the fate that i would never be able to get married. Now that fate and parents destroyed that horror-dream i should be happy isnt it ? Yeah , in a way i am happy and relieved that i will in all probability have a life partner (if nothing happens down the lane) and by age that all my friends will get married and go their way , i would not be stranded alone. I will have my spouse to bear my whims and emotions. But the scary part all of a sudden struck me out of the blue. its hardly 3 weeks of my engagement but ever since i got engaged and few days before, i was like Oh Shit !! this is happening and all my independence gone with the winds of change. There would be responsibility now and how am i to cope with all the family types things that now i would be expected to do. No No !! this is going to be too heavy price to tying the nuptial bond. RESPONSIBILITY i suppose is the biggest curse of all which i almost hate it in a way. I am scared , its not going to be same carefree life of whatever i do.
So as a conclusion i think that is why an average guy think of girlfriend but not marriage. All of a sudden "Pyar ke side effects" seems one of the best movies i saw. Dil chahtha hai is passe and now the vivah, saawariya types movies gonna be favs. My fiancee asked me not to watch saawariya alone as she wants to see this with me. GOD !! HELP ME , though with all my heart i want to keep her happy always and would care for her because that is what i have promised myself on the day of engagement. Hope god gives me the strenght that i learn my responsibilities pretty soon and i keep my love for the rest of my life always happy.
Can the average guy in me make way for the mature man !! lets see what life's going to teach me and whether i will cope with. Already the marriage thing is making me delirious.
So hereby another wiseass opinion "average guy freaks out of the word (rather a phrase) marriage along with being happy also of finding their partner for life"